I DON'T LIKE SHAH RUKH KHAN

I just don't.  You know how you know someone who gives off that asshole vibe?  That person, who by no fault of their own, just rubs you the wrong way?  That's my problem with Shah Rukh Khan...but i'll delve deeper into my condescension for Sharoo.  

Infact I'll even make a list for easier reading.

The Reasons I Don't Like Shah Rukh Khan.

1) That laugh...I can't stand his laugh.  He has the most fake, contrived laugh.  Kinda like the "i'm laughing because i'm better than you but I faintly pretend to be modest".  He doesn't laugh with his whole body or with his heart.  Seems like he laughs through his softball size adam's apple throat and pointy nose.

2) That Adam's apple...Jeebus almighty.  Looks like he collects water there for continued assholery on the go.

3) He has been in every, fucking, lame ass movie which just happens to be massively popular and massively horrible.  Let's name some attrocities he has put upon the world;

Kabhi Kushi Kabhi gum:  two words: OH GOD
Dilwale Dhulaniya..you know the rest: five words: GOD WERE YOU WATCHING THIS?
Kal ho na ho: This movie accomplished the hard task of adding even further disdian of Bollywood in me.
Don: I don't know if he was suppose to be a criminal mastermind or an average bitchy, gay, fashionista.

4) His fans, especially ages 10-17 and of female gender.  Only thing worse than him are his die hard followers who refuse to even question the plot of his crapshoot movies.  A typical conversation with a 15yr old Sharoo fan goes something like this:

"That movie was horrible...no one dying of cancer looks like that at terminal stages"

"but LOL....Sharooo is soooooo haw33ttt lolzzz"

5) OVERACTING.  No one, I mean no one, overacts more than him.  Indian comedies are generally depressing to a point of 0 consideration, so overacting is overlooked.  But, in serious roles he overdoes every scene...even scenes requiring restraint and poise....nope, not Sharoo.

 He'll even find a way to add some non-sensical theatric to scenes that require silence.  Be it through his oh so talented facial gestures which look like he is having some sort of an asshole stroke, or those waterfall like tears he whips out at will.  Wow, you're a regular Indian Morgan Freeman.

6) He still plays roles of 20 year olds.  COME ON.  I suppose he is not the only one to blame.  Indian actors have a tendency of being 40+ and playing 19 year olds.  Yeah, I am really convinced that Anil Kapoor (in his heyday) was 25 with those bags under his eyes.  But, Sharoo should know better.  What age did he play in Om Shanti Om? like a 21 year old?  Seriously?

Sharoo hasn't looked 19 years old since he was 15 so it doesn't look any more beliveable now.

7) The lame attempts at English slang.  Again, not entirely him to blame, but for the sake of this list...yes, yes he is.  He attempted so many dickweed english cool words in Om Shanti Om that I was embarrased to have invited non-Indian friends to watch their very first Indian movie.

What a great way to represent our rich culture...5,000+ yrs civilization represented by an actor with English vocabulary of less than 50 words.  Thanks, Shah Rukh, thanks.

8) DEVDAS: I didn't list this movie in the previous list because this piece of tripe deserves it's own number (it'll get it's very own blog post in the future because I REALLY don't like this movie).  

This movie sucked on almost every level of entertainment.  

9) His ego...we all know he has one.  He is the most powerful actor in India and possibly one of the most powerful figures in all of Bollywood, but the problem is; he knows it.  He shows it and he doesn't care.  Even in his movies he gets that shit eating grin because he knows no matter what happens he'll sleep a richer man every coming day.

Props to him for carving his place in a carnivorous industry and rising but does he have to be such a dick about it.  In his press junkets he always has this constipated scowl on his face.  You're not going to a fucking war, you're promoting a movie which people will forget about in 3 weeks so lighten the fuck up.  His arrogance keeps him form being personable...unless you're 15, than he is a droolworthy cutiepie.  Yuck.

10) His body.  Yes, we all saw his physique in Om Shanti Om and I don't like it.  It's not fair that I look like a hand beaten pile of dough while he, at his age, has a body of a ripe 20 year old.  Not only is he rich but he also has a figure of a stone carved Greek statue.  Fuck that, beer bellies are sexy.

No woman wants a stauesque man like him.  Im realistic and affordable. Shah Rukh wouldn't even look twice at most women...possibly men (haha, cheap shot)


So that's my list...so far.  A few main reasons I don't like Sharoo bhai.