DEVDAS.....SUCKED.

Yes, I know everyone and their mother loves the movie Devdas.  It's the first movie any non-Indian person spouts out of their mouth and asks my opinion on because they're expecting me to agree with them how orgasmically awesome it is.

Well here is how is how I feel about the movie: It sucked.  Happy, there I said it.  It is 3+ hrs of mind numbing idiocy and bad acting.  Beautiful costumes and set design can not hide the fact that the movie's plot was inane, no matter how classic the Indian literature it's based on.


For those of you who haven't seen Devdas here's the plot synopsis: Rich guy is an asshole, rich guy loses poor girl who is his true love because he is a raging douchebag, rich guy drinks himself to death.  THE END.

But i'll give more reasosns as to why this turdfest sucked.  Infact i'll even make a list.

(It has been a long time since I saw the movie so if im sketchy on details than oh well, the movie still sucks)

1) Shah Rukh Khan was in it playing his usual asshole self.  This was his best role of his career because his character was an asshole so it was easy for Sharoo bhai to channel his inner dickhead into this cockbag of a character.

2) Jackie Shraoff played possibly the most annoying character ever put on film.  Now I love Jackie, I think he kicks ass and apparently never ages but I wanted to break a bottle over his character's head because he simply wouldn't shut the fuck up.  If I met a guy like that during my downward spiral into drugs and alcohol i'd sober up just so I could escape his annoying ass

3) I know what happens to Sharoo's character is sad (supposedly) and people cried at the last scene...but  Idon't get it, am I suppose to feel bad because some ivy league dipshit drank himself
to death instead of just moving the fuck on?  "what, some rich guy didn't get what he wanted...gosh, how very tragic, darn shame"

     I felt no pity for Devdas, only disdian for a being petulent dipstick, and a boring one at that.

4) Everybody loves this fucking movie.  It's like a hive mentality when it comes to this film.  
There are no nay sayers to denounce this idiot fest and it only frustrates me because the movie itself has no great redeeming aspects beyond it's technical scope.  The idea is that; throw enough money into a film and people will forget what a shitty film it really is underneath the gloss.

Om Shanti Om suffers from this same dilemma and Kal ho na Ho.

5) It's way too long, seriously.  It may sound like im just bitching now to finish the list but it is way to long of a time frame to tell the story of some weak willed pussy throwing his life away.  If I wanted to watch that I'd just hang out in the NYC subways and watch the crackheads...it's free, I decide how long it lasts and it's in clear HD.


The movie does have gorgeous sets, Mrs. Bachan looks drop dead gorgeous as usual and the songs are good and elaborate but that's about it.  

Beyond that DEVDAS SUCKED.